Hello! My name is Ashley Durfee, daughter-in-law to the amazing founder of FCH, Vickie Durfee! I was the first recipient of “Twelve Days of Christmas” THIRTEEN years ago. To see how far FCH has come is truly remarkable and I feel honored to be a part of this organization. As a member of the board I have been asked to write a guest blog post for FCH. Enjoy!
For my first post, I thought I would talk about the first ever “twelve days of Christmas, love from Iraq”. Let’s start with a little bit of a history lesson. Gil (Vickie’s son) and I were kind-of high school sweethearts. I mean we went to Junior prom together so that’s basically sweethearts (reference picture below for a good laugh). It wasn’t until Sophomore year of college (2005) that we started dating. At that time he had been enlisted in the Marine Corp for almost a year and I was attending college in Buffalo, New York. In 2007, Gil “popped the question” just weeks before his first deployment to Iraq (his third overall deployment). There was no doubt in my mind that I wouldn't spend the rest of my life with this kid, so I was over the moon and gladly accepted. Reality soon set in the next day when Vickie and I had planned a surprise deployment party with family and friends. Amidst such a happy moment (getting engaged), there was still so much uncertainty and sadness surrounding what was to come.
In the next few weeks I prepared myself for the new normal; life without this human in my physical presence. How will I function without him? How will I stay connected to him and how will I know he is okay? This deployment was tough. It was his longest deployment and for me the scariest one. We were once again going to be away from each other for the holidays, which was always the worst part.
During this deployment I felt very alone. I was at school so I wasn’t around my family everyday and the communication from Gil was few and far between. You can imagine he was pretty busy. I waited by my computer all day and all night hoping for a Skype call. It didn’t matter what time it was or if I was in class, everything was second to those few minutes I would get to see his face. One thing I loved doing that helped get me through this deployment was sending Gil care packages every week. In a strange way this fostered a feeling of being connected to him, when we were worlds apart. I would fill them with letters, cards, snacks, candy, magazines, games, etc. and ship them off. The idea of making his day while he was overseas made me feel so good and gave me purpose.
A few months passed by and I was home on Christmas break. One night while watching TV with my parents, there was a knock at the door. It was my then future mother-in-law with a giant box. I was a little confused at first because I had no idea what it was. It was the very first “twelve days of Christmas, love from Iraq”! Gil had reached out to his mom to see if she could put together a little something for me for Christmas, since there was not much he could do from where he was. Vickie accepted and went above and beyond. A box filled with twelve gifts to pamper and spoil me! I was shocked and taken aback by this. It was my job to support Gil and make sure he was taken care of as much as I could, but to receive a gift from him was completely unexpected and lifted my spirits. It wasn’t about the actual gifts, but the connection that Vickie was able to facilitate between Gil and me. I felt love and connection and Gil was relieved to know that someone was taking care of me. To think that Full Circle Home all started with this one box of twelve gifts and now has expanded far beyond any of our imaginations is really cool!
Full Circle Home holds a very special place in my heart. I lived it and understand how important it is that we support our loved ones at home holding it down. I am grateful to be a part of this organization and look forward to another successful year ahead!
xo,
Ashley
Jr. Prom